The worst excuses for skipping a workout
© STADION-ACTUWho hasn’t felt a sudden attack of laziness, a desperate urge to stay glued to the sofa or an irresistible temptation to skip a tough session? At times like that, let’s be honest, we’ll come up with any excuse to dodge training, even if it’s the worst, least believable one going.✓ There are plenty of bad excuses for skipping a workout. We’ve deliberately left out the classics: “I’ve got swimming”, “I’ve got aqua pony”, “I’ve got a work meeting that’s running late”, “My calf’s a bit sore, I’d better not make it worse.” We had to choose from the most laughable pretexts. Here’s our shortlist. You be the judge!
“I washed yesterday”
Yes, it’s true, exercise makes you sweat. It’s worst in summer. You’ve barely run 300 metres before you can feel sweat streaming between your shoulder blades and your lavender-scented T-shirt taking on the delicate aroma of a seal.
Your hair? Forget your blow-dry. Forget the lovely style you spent half an hour perfecting this morning before heading to work. Forget those feather-light roots, too. Once you’ve finished your run, you’ll have only one option: get back in the shower for a thorough head-to-toe scrub.
Yes, running requires impeccable hygiene. Otherwise, you risk athlete’s foot between your toes, disapproving looks from colleagues with finely tuned nostrils and whispered comments from fellow passengers on public transport (we bet you’ll soon have plenty of space around you). But you washed yesterday, and with all this talk of climate change, dwindling resources and drought, it wouldn’t be very eco-friendly to go and dirty your clothes, your body and your hair at training. Today, you’ve decided, you’re staying clean.
“My cat has a fever.”
Your cat (or your dog, your canary or even your goldfish) is just like your child. The moment they seem a little off-colour, you’re beside yourself with worry. Since you know recovery also depends on a positive frame of mind, you can’t abandon your little darling to their sad fate, home alone. So you have to stay by their side (or rather, by their cushion, cage or bowl) to provide psychological support and unconditional love. No, you really can’t go running. That’s non-negotiable. You wouldn’t want the neighbour reporting you to the RSPCA for animal cruelty!
Come to think of it, one practical question: where exactly did you take your cat’s temperature?
“My mother-in-law is coming for dinner”
Now this is the ultimate excuse. Mothers-in-law are sacred. More importantly, they come with unlimited potential for trouble and remarks that will last forever if you don’t get home on time or if the roast isn’t cooked enough (or is overcooked because you went running while it was in the oven).
That said, when you claim your mother-in-law is coming over for dinner every day, we have to admit we’re finding you a little hard to believe.
“It’s hot. Exercising is incredibly dangerous.”
It’s true, they even said so on TV! When it’s hot, it puts strain on your heart, makes you sweat, raises your core temperature and leaves you at risk of dehydration, heatstroke, sunstroke and sunburn. Exercising in hot weather is EXTREMELY dangerous.
Besides, do normal people go running when it’s 35 degrees, eh? No, everyone stays cool, drinks beer on a terrace or lies in the shade on the grass. What, the world’s best runners come from countries where it’s really hot? Well yes, but they’re adapted. You’re not. They must have some kind of built-in thermoregulation system, a water-storage hump on their backs and blocked sweat glands. You don’t have any of that, so when it’s hot, you do absolutely nothing. End of story.
“It’s cold. That’s incredibly dangerous too.”
They said that on TV as well. Cold air hurts your airways. When there’s snow, you can slip and break your hip, your leg, your ankle or even your arm. Some people have even claimed that icy air can eventually give you asthma.
Yeah, well, what you seem to have missed is that you can also kit yourself out for sub-zero temperatures. Didn’t you hear about Mathieu Blanchard covering 608 km in the Arctic last winter? Funny, he didn’t finish with a plaster cast, frozen lungs and a supply of Ventolin at the ready. Come on, get home quickly and press yourself against the radiator. Wouldn’t want to get frostbite!
“It’s raining, I’ve got new shoes and I don’t want to get them dirty”
The ultimate excuse. The ultimate excuse for skipping the threshold session you’re dreading. The one that leaves you flat on the floor at the finish and brings your lunchtime burger and chips, and even your 10 a.m. coffee, back up to your lips. You’re so terrified of that bloody interval session that you could invent anything to get out of it. Even this. The worst excuse of all: “I don’t want to get my new shoes dirty.”
To be fair, your shoes cost you an arm and a leg. You chose the latest carbon-plated model, the very one that lets you smash your PB in the marathon. No way are you letting a single splash ruin that pristine mesh. Tonight, you’re going home to put your shoes somewhere clean and dry at the back of your wardrobe. Tomorrow will be sunny, for sure. Perfect timing: tomorrow is an easy recovery run!
Bad excuses for skipping a workout are always hiding something: lack of motivation? Temporary fatigue? Poor coaching? Or, conversely, not enough guidance? When we keep finding reasons to skip exercise, it’s probably time to question how much pleasure we get from the activity, the way we practise it and the goals we’ve set ourselves (or the lack of goals altogether!). What about you? Do you often find excuses not to go running?